Northern Lights trilogy

I loved the Northern Lights books by Philip Pullman and have just seen the trailer for the film that comes out in Dec - The Golden Compass.

Within the books, the characters souls live outside their bodies in the form of a daemon, an animal spirit that accompanies them through life. A daemon is kind of a combination of ones own spirit and a best friend. I think it's a lovely idea. I also love that a child's daemon changes shape, assuming all the forms that a child's potential inspires; but as a person ages, their daemon gradually settles into one form according to their character and nature.

Anyway. As a little widget for the film you can 'meet your daemon' and mine is apparently a tiger (whoo hoo, so much happier than if it had given me a badger or a newt or something!)

A tiger because I'm 'modest, assertive, spontaneous, responsible and shy'.

Apparently.

Scary things

Yesterday I did a scary thing. Nope, it wasn't bungee jumping over a concrete car-park, or letting spiders crawl over my face, or walking through Hackney on my own late at night dressed only in twenty pound notes, or standing up on stage in front of thousands of people to sing.

No siree. Scarier than all of those put together.

I applied for my new huge mortgage so I can extend my flat. And the scariest part? I opted to track the BoE BR rather than go fixed (bore off!)

Now I grant you, this isn't the most exciting thing I've ever done but in terms of risk-taking - it feels right up there!!

Chip off the old block

My dad is shameless when it comes to trying not to pay full price for things. Totally shameless. For example, he'll be in Sainburys and when the poor person on the check-out tells him how much the bill is, he's the kind of bloke who says 'but how much for cash' - and means it. It can be excruciatingly painful to be with him when he launches into a 'money saving' conversation with someone in the service industry (eg when he's visited me in London before and I've taken him for a coffee and he's asked for 'Birmingham prices not London prices' when I've asked for the bill......the shame!) I know that he comes across as being as tight as a gnats chuff, but I think it's actually that he just can't bear the thought of being ripped off. Well, that and that he's tight too.

Anyway. There is a part of me that is like him when it comes negotiating on appropriate purchases. This part of me got a few hundred quid off Glen's posh watch a few years ago, and has got a few hundred quid off art for Paul over the last couple of years (they were both initially mortified by the idea of negotiating then very quickly got used to it when they realised they would save money and that it was totally acceptable to do so).

So I've been in negotiations with my chosen loft conversion company (satisfactorily) and today got a quote from the 'agreed' surveyor that my neighbour wants us to use. The quote was significantly steeper than I had anticipated (by a couple of grand, certainly not an amount to be sniffed at) but it actually didn't occur to me to try and negotiate with them (they give an hourly rate and say how many hours they think it'll cost and I figure that well, they're professionals and that's just what it costs)....that's until I spoke to another surveyor who said that a more realistic expectation for the work was not only an hourly rate far cheaper than quoted, but also much less time taken to do the work.

In a hulk-styleee transformation I think I'm just about to turn into my dad....

West Wing addict needs new drug

I don't quite know what to do with myself now that I've just finished watching the final series of the West Wing. I've ploughed through those episodes like a woman possessed. As a result I shamefully probably know more about US politics than I do about the way our own political system works.

So in the last few months that's 5 series of 22 episodes each, which equates to around 75 solid hours of watching DVDs on my very lovely (retro) iBook.
eeeek, that's the best part of 2 working weeks!

I think it's about time I put the mac down and went outside.

I think it's about time I started to meet some proper people.

I think that watching seventy odd hours of Josh being a man in his early 40's who is a workaholic and doesn't know what he wants from his personal life and isn't facing up to it because he's got some pathetic pathological avoidance issues, is far too close to home for my liking after all!

Showdown

I always knew that objecting to my neighbour's planning permission was going to make him hate me. No, maybe that's not entirely fair.....I think he probably hated me long before that. Probably starting from right around the time I stood up to him about our front wall (he knocked it down as a result of some work he was doing) and it didn't occur to him to a) apologise and b) try and fix it or at least offer to.

Anyway. So I've sent him a letter of my proposed plans and I think the reaction this is likely to provoke from him may be picked up on a Richter scale somewhere. In another hemisphere.

Can't see that he's going to be lovely and neighbourly about this (but here's hoping I'm wrong). In preparation I am bracing myself for the start of a battle.

Sort of like one from a Lord of the Rings film.
But with less Orcs and more surveyors

Bookworm

In the space of a week on holiday I managed to devour the following books:

1. Confederacy of Dunces (Kennedy Toole)
2. Naked (Sedaris)
3. The Voyage to the end of the room (Fischer)
4. Season of the Witch (Mostert)
5. The Steep Approach to Garbadale (Banks)

Now as I've said before - the Richard and Judy book club this ain't so I'll just give a very quick overview of my thoughts.

1. Wonderful. Will probably read again at some point and get even more out of it.
2. Great holiday read but didn't enjoy as much as Barrel Fever
3. Well written, some good musings on life so served well as holiday book
4. Hmm. Had run out of books here and Claire bought this at the airport. Let's just say it helped pass the time.
5. Another one of Claire's. Again, worked well as a holiday read but don't get excited if the last Banks book you read was The Crow Road as this isn't a patch on that.

MUST. READ. MORE. WHEN. HOME.

Soup?

er, I'll have the tomato please...

Revelation

Now, I've known my friend Claire for quite some time but I have learnt something about her this holiday. She is, quite simply, flypaper for Turkish men. They absolutely love her. We can be walking down the street and they are almost falling at her feet professing undying love. She has a power over them that has to be seen to be believed.

I need to find out if her power only works in Turkey or if it's Turkish men the world over who are smitten by her charms. As such, I propose to drive her down Green Lanes in Haringay and see how many Turkish men actually jump on the car trying to get nearer to her.

I am excited by the prospect that when out drinking with her, I may never have to pay for a kebab again.

(just some of the men - notice the flypaper effect. They are quite literally smitten so much they are physically stuck to her)

Getting silly now

Found the 'i' key - hoorah! have no idea what this 'ı' is that i was using for an i but it's ın the i place on the keyboard so ı am goıng to have to keep usıng ıt otherwıse ı'll be here all day tryıng to type.

It was 56 degrees today, 39 in the shade. That's just sılly. I wıll be comıng home pale because ıt's too hot to sıt out.

Passed out on the beach yesterday due to the heat. Tres tres embarrassıng as was unconscıous and carrıed wearıng only my bıkını ınto the shade, where I woke up a few mınutes later extremely confused. Was kınd of beıng sensıble, had only been on the beach for about an hour and we had a bottle of water we were drınkıng steadıly from but I have never experıenced heat lıke thıs and my body just saıd nope - and a jelly head ensued.

I woke up, confused and disorientated (ıf you're a fainter you'll empathise) because you can hear before you can see. So I could hear fussıng and people around, then woke up to realıse they were fussıng and round me. Two old Englısh guys then completely threw me ınto even more confusıon by goıng on and on about eatıng pork pies and how apparently I should be doing more of it (too surreal) whılst another one kept grabbıng my feet and lıftıng them onto a cushion so the blood could apparently flow back to my jelly head.

No lastıng harm done (other than to my prıde) and I shall love Claire forever for trying to make me feel better when she told me about it all (as of course, I had been unconscıous so oblivious). She saıd 'you looked very glamorous when the Turkısh guy was carryıng you, you were very dignifıed and your head didn't loll about too much and you just looked limp but dıdn't drıbble so ıt looked quıte dashing, wıth hım carrying you'.

love her.

and bless hım for rescuing me too, whoever he was.

Cold Turkey??

Far from ıt! It's over forty degrees so proper scorchıo. And notıcably unlıke Thaıland, thıs ıs a very dry heat but ıt's completely energy sappıng. However, as the plan for the week ıs to do lıttle else except lıe on the beach I don't see that thıs ıs goıng to be too much of a problem.

Went to the market today whıch was fun, stocked up on fruıt and turkısh delıght but left fake handbags and sunglasses well alone (not a patch on the copıes ın Thaıland, sweetıe). Claıre and her ample bosom attracted the attentıon of many a Turkısh man and I'm not sure how amused she was when they shouted 'hello Jordan' but ıt was quıte funny for me (I assume they were referencıng the overly pumped wıfe of Peter Andre and not the mıddle eastern country).

Usıng thıs keyboard ıs pretty trıcky, very few thıngs are where they should be so ıf thıs ıs actually all publıshed ın Turkısh I apologıse ıf ıt's trıcky to read....

Project Chez Moi

And so it starts...

The first builder came round today to quote on the potential extension of Chez Walker (I'm toying with the idea of having an entirely new wing build just off the west lobby as long as it still leaves enough room in the grounds for the peacocks to strut happily between the orangery and the lake and doesn't obscure the view from the library).

I quite liked the guy, he seemed to really know his stuff and the intricacies of dealing with Wandsworth Council planning department and I particularly liked it when he said that his company would take on absolutely everything to do with the work as a fixed price (drawings, planning, hiring skips, party wall stuff, project management of the build) and that all I'd need to do is go to work to get out of their hair and earn the money to pay for it. It was quite reassuring in a 'bloody hell this is going to cost me a fortune' sort of way.

I'm sure the topic of my extension will reoccur many times here if I decide to go ahead with it. It's not going to be cheap but it will be much cheaper than moving to a flat of the equivalent size. And hey, so far all it's cost me is 1 cup of tea and 1 cup of coffee (he had one of each. Is this a good or bad sign?).

nasty little habit

oooh the newly opened Haymarket Hotel is a bit nice. Kind of like Tigerlily's in Edinburgh if you've ever been there. Quite perfect for cocktails on a Friday night, even if a bit meeja (but then, I was with people from work so I guess we are meeja, dahlink). Mwah!
Just the twelve quid for a cocktail (eeek) but you do get twelve pounds worth of loveliness in a glass. And it's tomorrow now and I'm as hungover as hell so those cocktails are clearly the gifts that keep on giving!

But there was a dark side to the evening that can't be glossed over. I'm afraid I indulged in my new nasty little habit again.

Karaoke.

Simon won

'nuff said

You're fired!

Surely, surely Sirallun is going to hire Kristina as his Apprentice this evening. It's in the bag. Isn't it!?

Surely simple Simon isn't even properly in the running and is only in the final because Sirallun had a lucky escape last week when evil incarnate Katie chucked in the towel (only after she'd had an affair with the towel, got it to leave its wife, chewed it up, spat it out and left it for dead - all whilst giving her winning race-horse smile to camera).

Of course, Simon may be the victim of cruel editing and isn't in fact as deeply irritating as we've been led to believe. And Kristina may be a victim of cruel editing and not be as orange as we've been led to believe.

Either way, you've got to feel sorry for the winner. They have to start work in a week, in Brentwood, for Amstrad. They've worked for 11 weeks to get that 'prize' and their 100k isn't even 100k after tax.

Compare this with the fools in the BB house. 13 weeks of sunbathing and larking about and they can leave with 100k - tax free!!

Perhaps not so foolish after all...

C4 refuse to back down over plans to show Olympic logo

The head of Channel 4 refused point-blank to yield to request from medical groups, The Church of England, Colin Redgrave, delegates at the G8 Summit and a superstar pressure group consisting of Bono and Julie Walters not to show the Olympic logo on Channel 4.

The planned transmission, which is believed to involve broadcasting the logo constantly for an hour, will go ahead - despite warnings that it would result in hundreds of people bursting so hard that they would cause billions of pounds' worth of damage.

'I understand that people are bursting all over the place, but mostly from their stomach' said a C4 spokesperson. 'But we've also got to respect the fact that showing the logo is in the public interest'.

When asked why, he responded 'Because when we said we were going to show it, it caused a huge public row that got reported in the newspapers bought by people. Which now makes it in the public interest. So we have no alternative but to show it. We'd love not to show it, but there's no way we can do that now. D'you see?'


[Armando Iannucci is the author of this genius post].